When I came out I was 12 (only 2 weeks ago) and I had been worrying about it for months! My parents were thinking about separating, and my dad had come to tell me and my sister that he was maybe going to move out west. I asked to talk to him alone, so my sister went to bed. I just sat there for 10 minutes, hyperventilating, and then I told him I was bi. I didn’t want to explain what pan was. And he was SUPER supportive! I said that I needed him to stay with us, and not move. I didn’t sleep the whole night. The next day I told my mom. She was like, “Aw honey! That’s great!” And then she went on to tell me about a bisexual love triangle that she had been in with my dad and his friend! So I ended up saving my parents’ marriage with my sexuality! (F/12)
Story #2183
When I came out I tried a million times before I actually said something. I tried to write a letter and give it to my mum but I couldn’t bring myself to hand it to her. Eventually I asked her if I could go on a drive with her; she said yes but I still could barely force the words out, even though I knew she would be accepting. And she was accepting, and she told my dad for me (I wasn’t worried about telling him, but he’s at work all the time and my mum sees him more than I do). I’ve only told her and my two best friends, who are both LGBTQ+. I thought coming out as bigender would be like when I came out as pansexual, but it was so much harder. You’re all awesome. (Bigender[m/f]/13/Pansexual)
Story #2176
When I came out, I was already out to most of my school friends as gay, but then I started to question my gender and figured out I was agender. The first few people I came out to were accepting, but they all made a huge deal out of it (it’s just me??? call me by my name and pronouns as you would do anyone else???), and eventually, rumours started floating around the school as they had when I had come out to these same people as gay. This made me quite anxious as I felt that everyone knew my deepest secret. Later when I came out to my class, people kept deadnaming and mispronouning me, saying, ‘Same thing’ or ‘You know what I meant’. Later by the people in my class I got bullied (still am being bullied) and called an ‘it.’ And finally, was outed to a bunch of my teachers: When they called the roll and said my deadname (though I appreciate people learning my real name, it was super annoying) people in my class yelled out (some quite mockingly :((() ‘Actually, it’s *real name.*’ And as I’m not currently out to my mum, this was quite distressing as some of the teachers are friends with and talk with my mum often. 🙁 (Agender/non-binary/13/Aromantic/pansexual/demisexual)
Story #2174
When I came out to my friend it was pretty dry, I just said, “I’m pan,” and she said, “k, I’m bi.” After that my friend dated A LOT of girls so I thought I should too, so I dated a really pretty girl for a while but we broke up at 3 months and I was super sad. I stayed single for a while but found another girlfriend at my school and we started dating. I didn’t tell my friend at first, and then randomly one day my friend texted me that she had a crush on me and I had to tell her that I already had a girlfriend, and she was really sad I didn’t tell her sooner. What should I do? (F/13/Pan)
Story #2167
When I came out it was probably the most nerve-wracking thing I’ve ever done. I told my mom first, and she accepted me fully, but I am yet to tell her I’m Pan instead of bi. I told all of my friends next, and they were supportive too. One of them came out too later on, as a genderfluid lesbian. When I told my father, he said it was a phase, so he’s on my “Salty List” forever. On April 4, I met the most diverse, between gender and sexuality, friends anyone will ever have. They are super supportive, and I couldn’t ask for anything more. To this day, I own more than seven pride items, regardless of my dad’s opinion of me, and who I am. Stay strong my friends! (F/12/Pan/demi)
Story #2155
When I came out it was the other day, and 𝐈 wasn’t even the one to do it. I was laying on the ground in drama class the other day when I heard my preferred name being used in answer to one of the teacher’s questions as to who was doing which role. When the teacher asked who they were, one of my friends replied with: “Oh, that’s *deadname*’s preferred name!” I was scared when I heard this as many kids in my school were transphobic until I heard my teacher ask me which pronouns I use ! She was really supportive, though I am still mad at my friend for outing me 🙁 (Non-binary/agender/12/Pan/demi)
Story #2117
When I came out I was really scared. I have homophobic parents — well, mom — and I had already come out to some of my friends. My brother was my only family member who knew and he helped me through tough times of figuring myself out. I decided to let my mom know I was pansexual and asexual because she always insulted the LGBTQIA+ and I was getting hurt a lot but nothing changed once I came out to her. Instead she said stuff like I’m gross, I’m a sin, it’s just a dumb phase, stuff like that hurt a lot. I don’t have many friends so I would try to just move on with myself and be happy with who I am even though if I really am a disappointment but it’s alright. I’m happy being me and expressing what and who I love. I mean, I can’t help it. (F/15/PanAce)
Story #2111
When I came out I had a few friends I was out to and wanted to tell more, so when one of my friends came out to me, I felt a safe-space was with her. Big mistake for me. I told her (who I no longer trust) and another friend (who is very nice and is still my friend today, very accepting) after school one day and the next I have one of my friends coming up to me saying, “I didn’t know you were bi!” and I freak out. I played it cool, as if I meant for this to happen, trying to make sure others didn’t hear (I had some homophobic “friends” at the time), while having a panic attack and the friend I came out to the day before smirking. I asked her why she told the person who I hadn’t trusted with this secret yet and she told me that I should have told her sooner and that “I just helped you, you had to do it soon.” Later she became VERY homophobic and transphobic and made jokes about being gay, in a very homophobic way. Luckily know I have better friends and she is no longer near me. (Demiboy/Pan/demi)
Story #2090
When I came out I was 11/12, and my friends were pretty supportive. I came out as bi and ace, but pretty recently I realized that I am pan and demi. So now I have to re-come out, and it might be weird. Idk. I have yet to tell my parents. Only my sister knows what I truly am, and she is bi. At least one family member knows how I feel. Now it’s time to tell all the others. Wish me luck! (F/12/Pan)
Story #2085
When I came out in terms of sexuality, it was right after my sister, who’s pan, had come out to me. I told her that I didn’t think I was straight either and I had a crush on a girl, but I never officially told my parents my sexuality. I told my mom I was non-binary as I was going to bed one night, and she was pretty accepting and told my dad for me. I told my sister myself, and she was amazing and supportive. But my parents didn’t really use my preferred name or pronouns at all until a month or so later, when they found out I was struggling with severe depression and anxiety. Then they suddenly became a lot better about it. (Non-Binary/13/Bi/pan)