Gay Coming Out Stories

When I came out it felt so freeing. It’s only been 2 months since I first came out to my best friends, but the more people I’ve come out to (8 friends currently) the more I find myself to just not care as much anymore and come out a lot more easily. And I’ve finally mostly accepted myself for the first time and my advice is if you have close friends that you love, and they love you, it gets better when you come out to them. I know it’s scary, but it gets easier every time and if you have friends that accept you your life gets easier. Haven’t come out to my mom yet and probably never will come out to my dad 🙁 (M/16/Gay)

When I came out I was just casually gaming with my best friend, when he suddenly out of nowhere asked, “Are you gay?” I had an internal oh shit moment and then decided to answer truthfully, because I’m a bad liar. We rarely-never spoke about it and that was all. But the emotional stress in that situation was unbelievable. (M/Gay)

When I came out, I was at Glastonbury festival watching a band. This bloke started making lude comments to the artist. I said between songs that you are not her type. He replied, drunk, so are you. I said no. A woman said that she was gay. When this man started saying that all gay people shouldn’t be able to attend Glastonbury, they should be forced to leave, I said are you going to make me leave then for being gay. People around were saying good for you in standing up for yourself and others. One of my friends just said I don’t suppose you wanted to come out like that. Nothing else was said. We still have a good friendship and go to gigs. (M/52/Gay)

When I was about 15 I started thinking about guys. When I was about 21 I had my first experience when a friend seduced me. I liked it and at time was still interested in girls but thought this is nice and I don’t need to worry about getting a girl pregnant! I started going to gay bars and started dating men and while not all worked out I dated a couple of girls again but met my first real boyfriend at 24 at a LGBT Social Meeting. From that point on I have only been in relationships with men and while I understand women can be attractive I can’t actually imagine having sex with a female. I know I love men and may have been born gay but did not realize my feelings until 15 and by 24 I completely accepted and embraced being gay. I am a hairy happy gay versatile bear (preferably a bottom though). Currently single again but hoping to find my true top bear future husband. (M/62)

When I came out I promised myself that I would not deny it if people asked if I were gay, and I even brought up the topic around my classmates indirectly. For a whole year, nobody asked me, but finally, in the beginning of grade 9, I was talking with some friends at school and one of them asked me if I were gay. I didn’t deny or confirm it, but I was being quite obvious. I later confirmed that I was gay to them on text. In June, I came out to my older brother at a pride parade (he wanted to go, I went with him). Still not out to my parents. I know they are transphobic but not sure if they are homophobic as well. (M/15/Gay)

When I truly came out for the first time, it wasn’t planned. I’d been struggling with my mental health for a while, and one night, while texting my best friend (who I had already come out to as bi the year before) I let it all out. When he asked how I’d been doing mentally, I told him about my struggles with anxiety and depression and admitted that I had lied about being bi just so a part of me could still feel “normal,” even though I’m just gay, which really isn’t that bad either 🙂 I love you all — remember, you’re not alone in this! (M/18/Gay)

When I came out, I was talking to my friend. I had already come out to myself, and she is one of the only people who is not religious where I live and that is why I could not/cannot come out to my family or other friends. We were in private, and I decided I would finally come out. I got really shaky, and I almost cried a bit, and I said, “You know how I flirt with girls? Well, that is fake.” (I pretended to have huge crushes on girls so that no one would suspect anything. I was also really bad at flirting because I had no actual attraction to them.) She whispered, “So, are you gay?” and I nodded and she said, “Oh my gosh, that is totally OK, that makes so much sense.” That is when the tears really started and I am so grateful for her. She is still really supportive and hasn’t told anyone. I feel so much better. Still haven’t come out to anyone else, because again, everyone is super religious. (M/14/Gay)

When I came out I was twelve and had just gone to high school, which was the first place I ever thought about the word “gay,” as it was frequently used as a joke and insult. My best friend was chill though, and it gave me the courage to come out to my family. If people see this, know that it’s scary but if the people in your life are worth it then they will accept you for who you are lol. (M/15/Gay?)

When I came out in the spring of 1970, it was nine months after the Stonewall rebellion. Once I owned my identity as a gay man, I made sure everyone knew. I started the New Haven Gay Liberation Front, moved to NYC to work in the original Gay Liberation Front and live in a pioneering gay men’s collective, and ensure that others would not have to suffer in the closet as I did. Close to 55 years later, I’m actively working in the WA State LGBTQ Commission to safeguard our rights. Being gay is a blessing. (M/79/Gay)