Lesbian Coming Out Stories

When I came out, I was really worried about my parents’ reactions at first, thinking, “I know they support the lgbtq community, but it might be different because I’m their daughter.” I was really surprised when my mom’s reaction was basically to say she already knew, and to ask if I had a crush on someone. Actually, until I was twelve, I was pretty much the only member of my family who hadn’t guessed. To all other teens/kids who want to come out, it’s scary, but it’s worth it, and who knows? Maybe your family will react better than expected. (F/14/Lesbian)

When I came out I thought it would be the hardest conversation that I ever had to have, but it wasn’t. We were in the kitchen doing dishes after dinner. I told my step mom and then my dad a few minutes later, and they weren’t excited but they also weren’t mad. My father said he just wanted me to have an easy life, without making it harder for myself (“it’s a hard row to hoe.”) I said it’d only be harder if I had to hide who I was and he nodded that he understood. We didn’t talk about it much after that until I got my first girlfriend — and then it was just “keep your bedroom door open.” Turns out, coming out in everyday life — at the grocery store when someone asks about my husband, at the doctor when the assume because I’m sexually active there is a penis involved — those are the hard conversations! (F/45/Lesbian)

When I came out, I was 12 years old and I was with a straight friend at a sleepover. She started talking about her female friend who had a crush on her, and I obviously looked uncomfortable (I was HEAVILY closeted). She asked if I was queer, and I replied with a very unconvincing ‘No!?’. She saw right through me and told me she wouldn’t tell anyone. I finally admitted I was gay. Then I barely slept the whole night and wished I was back in the closet. I still haven’t come out, and I don’t see my friend all that much. She moved away, and hasn’t told anyone ever. I go to a school where queer kids don’t get beat up, but they get excluded and people are weird to them. I’m planning to come out when I’m 16. (F/14/Lesbian)

When I came out to my parents this year, I was scared that they would not love me anymore. I have known that I was not interested in guys. I wanted to be free and my true self. My mom said that she knew. All my friends I told were happy for me and said I thought you were. Some said they knew. They said that they wish I came out sooner. I was not sure what I wanted. I wanted people to love me for me. (F/39/Lesbian)

When I came out to my parents, I was 13 and working on a project with my friend (who is also queer) that was about the LGBTQ+ community. Her mom was asking questions about it, and she was freaking out because like the wonderful person she is, she didn’t want to out me to her mom if I wasn’t ready, so she was frantically calling me. When I called her back, I was in the car with my mom and I decided to explain to her after I hung up what the call was about, and she was cool with it, if not a little surprised. That night, we went out to ice cream and I just walked up to my dad in the crowded shop and said, “Hey dad, I’m gay.” With my friends, it was really easy to come out because most of them are queer or allies and they are really good at accepting me for who I am. (F/Lesbian)

When I came out I was around late twelve/early 13. I basically had a hunch in fifth grade but I was so confused. I was attracted to a bunch of random girls and didn’t have a full crush until 7th grade which is when I told my friends. I’ve only told two people irl but they’re accepting of it. Coming out for real is honestly super scary because what if all the girls in my grade are disgusted with me (I go to a small school). And idk some of my friends also gay jokes and I don’t want anyone to see me differently. (F/14/Lesbian)

When I came out to my friend we were talking about crushes and I said, “I get the feeling you already know that I’m gay” and then I said who I liked at the time. It was terrifying to press send on that text but turns out that she is bi and we’re buddies still to this day. Having good people around you makes all the difference in life. (F/15/Lesbian)