When I came out, it was to my closest friends at school, who also identified as LGBTQ+ so I had trust in them. They were really supportive and every week, we attend our school’s Gay-Straight Alliance and have tons of fun conversating around queer humor, media, and life as well as participating in arts and crafts with that gay sparkle. My parents are extremely conservative and would kick me out if I came out to them, but at least I have some support! (Transmasculine nonbinary/Bisexual)
Story #2724
When I came out I threw a book at my parents. It was the book “What’s the T” by Juno Dawson. When my parents actually looked at the book, I said, “I think that this is me.” They were accepting and everything, but it took a while for changes to actually start to take place. My first Gender Affirming Haircut was about a month later I think, and only recently have they started to use my preferred name and pronouns. It is a long process, but I am mainly just glad that they are accepting of who I am. (FtM/13/Biromantic ace)
Story #2723
When I came out, I told my two best friends — one a queer girl two years older than me, and one a straight cis ally in one of my classes. Both were extremely supportive and immediately asked me for my chosen name and pronouns; I also have a few friends at school whom I can openly converse with about queer culture, media, and life. My parents are extremely LGBT-phobic so I am closeted at home, but I have amazing sources of support! I am so glad I was brave enough to open up to such wonderful friends; to all those queer ppl out there feeling lost and alone, you will find your place! (Transgender boyflux/Bisexual)
Story #2718
When I came out originally I was nine. I told my mom I didn’t feel like a girl most days, but she just told me to focus on being a ten year old girl, as my birthday was the next day. I came out again around eleven. Again, I was just told to be a girl. I officially came out and said I was trans when I was thirteen… I got hit with the “I support you, but…” and she went on a tangent about how God made me a girl, not a boy. When I got into an argument about something else, my dad started yelling about how if I want to be a boy, I should go out and do “boy sh**”. Overall it went terrible, and for them “loving me unconditionally”, it surely doesn’t feel like it. I told them I did not like my body and essentially was told to get over it. (M/14/FTM)
Story #2710
When I came out to my best friend I thought I’d regret it immediately. I was terrified it would be a “not in my backyard” situation. It’s scary thinking these things will change the entire way someone sees you, more than the physical but your entire sense of self and your soul, in their eyes. I wasn’t going to tell her until after her wedding. She had made me Maid of Honour. What was I gonna be now? But the wedding is over a year away and my feelings about my gender keep getting stronger, and I just couldn’t do this to myself anymore. When I told her, she hugged me as I cried, and one of the first things she said was “we’ll pick a new title for you for the wedding if you want”, which just made me cry even harder. (Transmasc/bigender/30/Bi/pan)
Story #2707
When I came out to my family, I was scared. I gave half-truths. “Would you accept me if I dated a man? How do you feel about my transfem friend?” Only after months of subtle questions did I, at 20 years old, finally admit to them: I am a woman. (F/29/Trans Fem/Pansexual/Lesbian)
Story #2706
When I came out I was fifteen, despite knowing I was queer for a very long time. I had only identified as transmasc for a year though, and the attraction I suddenly felt for boys was new as well. So it was nerve-wracking, but I had realized I couldn’t live with the dysphoria and pain I felt daily. I wanted literally nothing more than to be seen as a boy, to have a boyfriend, to be finally happy and comfortable. I told two friends first, and it didn’t go over so well, which was discouraging. But I pushed on and I’m glad I did. It was awkward and really weird at first honestly, but over time it got better. It’s been a while, and I don’t have a boyfriend just yet, but in the words of Ethel Cain, if it’s meant to be then it will be. If you’re reading these for motivation to come out, as I did for years before I actually did, this is your sign to go for it! If you know you’re in a safe situation at least, I promise you, it’s worth it. It may be weird, it may be awkward, it may even hurt for a little. But nothing can beat the happiness of living as your true self, I promise. (Male [FtM]/16/Achillean)
Story #2699
When I came out it wasn’t all at once. I came out as bisexual at 13 and came out as a trans man to my friends at 15 and to my family at 16. Trying to discover my sexuality was intertwined with trying to discover my gender and vice versa. I was trying to suppress who I was because evangelical family members called who I am a sin. I refuse to live in shame again. (Nonbinary Trans Man/25/Bisexual)
Story #2664
When I came out, I was kicked out and they started insulting me. I came out to my parents as trans male and they were furious. My mom called me a disgrace and that she should’ve never had me. My dad shook his head and told me to pack my belongings. I was heartbroken and I moved into my best friend’s apartment. It hurt really bad when they kicked me out like I was nothing. I was fifteen when this happened; I am now nineteen. (Trans male)
Story #2658
When I came out, it started slowly. I told my wife first, then my sister-in-law who lives with us, then my kids. When I was in the process of changing everything legally, the government sent a card, I think it was about voter registration, to my former address, where my parents still lived. The card was addressed to my new name. Immediately, they began attempting to convince me to come over so they could correct me (my sperm donor is a pastor of a very conservative church), essentially offering me conversion therapy. At this point, I just made my identity completely public, resulting in a few supportive members of my extended family, but also several cut ties. (MtF/33/Lesbian/poly)