When I came out I was really scared. I have homophobic parents — well, mom — and I had already come out to some of my friends. My brother was my only family member who knew and he helped me through tough times of figuring myself out. I decided to let my mom know I was pansexual and asexual because she always insulted the LGBTQIA+ and I was getting hurt a lot but nothing changed once I came out to her. Instead she said stuff like I’m gross, I’m a sin, it’s just a dumb phase, stuff like that hurt a lot. I don’t have many friends so I would try to just move on with myself and be happy with who I am even though if I really am a disappointment but it’s alright. I’m happy being me and expressing what and who I love. I mean, I can’t help it. (F/15/PanAce)
Story #2111
When I came out I had a few friends I was out to and wanted to tell more, so when one of my friends came out to me, I felt a safe-space was with her. Big mistake for me. I told her (who I no longer trust) and another friend (who is very nice and is still my friend today, very accepting) after school one day and the next I have one of my friends coming up to me saying, “I didn’t know you were bi!” and I freak out. I played it cool, as if I meant for this to happen, trying to make sure others didn’t hear (I had some homophobic “friends” at the time), while having a panic attack and the friend I came out to the day before smirking. I asked her why she told the person who I hadn’t trusted with this secret yet and she told me that I should have told her sooner and that “I just helped you, you had to do it soon.” Later she became VERY homophobic and transphobic and made jokes about being gay, in a very homophobic way. Luckily know I have better friends and she is no longer near me. (Demiboy/Pan/demi)
Story #2090
When I came out I was 11/12, and my friends were pretty supportive. I came out as bi and ace, but pretty recently I realized that I am pan and demi. So now I have to re-come out, and it might be weird. Idk. I have yet to tell my parents. Only my sister knows what I truly am, and she is bi. At least one family member knows how I feel. Now it’s time to tell all the others. Wish me luck! (F/12/Pan)
Story #2085
When I came out in terms of sexuality, it was right after my sister, who’s pan, had come out to me. I told her that I didn’t think I was straight either and I had a crush on a girl, but I never officially told my parents my sexuality. I told my mom I was non-binary as I was going to bed one night, and she was pretty accepting and told my dad for me. I told my sister myself, and she was amazing and supportive. But my parents didn’t really use my preferred name or pronouns at all until a month or so later, when they found out I was struggling with severe depression and anxiety. Then they suddenly became a lot better about it. (Non-Binary/13/Bi/pan)
Story #2083
When I came out I thought I was bisexual. I came out to my (gay) best friend first, and when I told her, she put this super innocent look on, and said, “Anyone in particular?” I came out to almost all my friends as bisexual at a party, and they were all super accepting. I also came out to my mom as bi, and she told me that she was bi as well. But then I realized I was pansexual, and re-came out to my best friend, who was still accepting. I have to come out as pansexual to my friend group, though. (F/Pansexual)
Story #2069
When I came out to my mum about a month and a half ago, she was a bit non-accepting at first and said, “As far as I know, you’re a girl.” That made me sad and disappointed. Later on she came into my room and asked me what was wrong, and I just told her that I thought she doesn’t accept me, but she said she does, which made me really happy. I was too scared to tell my dad and I didn’t want to tell him, but my mum said that he deserved it; she told him that night and he accepted me. Both of my parents knew what non-binary was because I have a non-binary friend and had to explain what it means. All of my friends know and they all support me, and I’m glad I have such great friends and such amazing parents. (Non-binary/15/Pan)
Story #2061
When I came out to my best friend today, I did it over text. Because of the quarantine I won’t be able to see her for almost a month and I just couldn’t keep it in anymore. I texted her a long paragraph telling her that I’m non-binary. She was very accepting and told me she had I feeling I was. (NB/15/Bi/pan)
Story #2059
When I came out to my mom she didn’t accept me. It wasn’t until after the 4th time that she realized I might not be cis and straight. After that she took me to a therapist that was going to “fix” me. I didn’t realize and thought she was trying to help so I told him all my secrets. Later I found out he repeated it all to my mom and homophobic family. When I came home my dad slapped me and I called my best friend. She hugged me and helped me come out to our friend group. I also found out my crush is pan so I might have a chance with them! (Genderfluid/14/Pan)
Story #2052
When I came out, my dad threw the vase of flowers I had just brought home from my first girlfriend across the room. I was petrified — he never acted that way. He wasn’t prepared; no one really was. A couple of my friends seemed to understand, or at least “love me through it”, but overall I wasn’t accepted for almost 4 years. Stay committed and stay strong. You’re never alone and the fight is so beyond worth it. Love whoever you love and do it with passion. Live your truth. (F/24/Pansexual)
Story #2045
When I came out to one of my best friends today, I did it unplanned. I was feeling sad and alone along with physical pain that started to build up. I just casually asked my friend if we could talk alone and then I struggled to find the right words. So I just said, “I’m not entirely sure, but I don’t think I’m a girl.” She thought I was a trans guy, but I told her, “I also know I’m not a guy. I think I might be non-binary.” She knew what that meant and was very supportive, she told me everything was going to be okay as I cried in her arms. I have days were I feel like a girl and others when I don’t, and that’s a confusing place for me to be right now. I told her this but she just said, “You are who you are, and I’ll love you no matter what.” (?/15/Bi/Pan?)