When I came out I came out in two phases: once as bisexual (which I tried really hard to be) and now as lesbian. After a sequence of multiple abusive relationships, I told my friend that my attempt with this new guy was my absolute last shot with men. Five years later we moved across the country together, lived together, and had a wonderful healthy relationship. Going to college, we agreed to have an open relationship because I knew I liked women more but didn’t know how much more until this summer — in fact, until this summer I was wondering if I was just asexual because the only qualm he’d ever had in the relationship was that I wasn’t very physically affectionate. I learned very quickly that I am indeed not ace and instead a lesbian, a fact that was really hard for me to acknowledge because of how healthy my relationship with him was but I’m happy that he is still my best friend and now has a girlfriend who can love him for all that he is. (F/21/Lesbian)
Story #2506
When I first came out, I was in 6th grade. It was to one of my closest friends. She hugged me and said she would always love me. I told more of my friends, and only one said he didn’t support me. I told my mom before I told my dad. I told one of my favorite teachers before my dad as well. I talk to her about the girls I like now, lol. My mom thought I was young, but now supports me. My dad said it was awesome. (F/12/Lesbian)
Story #2502
When I came out I came out it was at a school skiing trip. I came out to a friend who I had a really big crush on and it turned out that those feelings were mutual. We had a great time sneaking about and kissing until a classmate spotted us and posted a video. Everyone was really shocked but generally supportive. (F/15/Lesbian)
Story #2499
When I came out my family didn’t believe me. So I started making out with my girlfriend in front of them. They soon quickly realised I wasn’t joking. Some of them are struggling to come to terms but that’s their issue. 👩❤️💋👩🏳️🌈👩❤️💋👩🏳️🌈 (F/23/Lesbian)
Story #2484
When I came out as gay to my family I felt so much better and less alone. I have been a lesbian my whole life and I have hid this from my family because I was afraid of not being accepted. I used to pretend to have crushes on guys just so I would be seen as normal. But this made me feel extremely alone and my mental health suffered. Now that I came out I can finally be myself and talk about girls I like. I am so much happier and my mental health has improved a lot. My family is very supportive and I’m thankful they love and accept me. (F/Lesbian)
Story #2482
When I came out for the first time I was 17. I had forced myself to have crushes on guys before but I slowly realised that I was in fact a lesbian. I first came out to my best friend who I had a crush on. I was so nervous, but she took it really well and it turned out she is also a lesbian and we started kissing. Unfortunately my mum walks in as we are doing this and is really shocked but supportive. Overall I couldn’t have had a better coming out and my girlfriend is amazing. (F/17/Lesbian)
Story #2481
When I came out I told my 3 best friends first. I came out as lesbian, friend 1 also came out as a lesbian. Friend 2 came out as bisexual and friend 3 came out as pansexual. Friend 1 and I are now dating and friends 2 and 3 are dating. (F/Lesbian)
Story #2464
When I came out to my family, I was in an arranged marriage with my husband. I didn’t feel very comfortable when I was young and I was living in an unaccepting family even though I hadn’t come out, yet . I had a friend who was trans and they would never call them by their real name and they eventually banned me from talking about them. When I got older I ignored my feelings but once I had my second child I was really feeling out of place. I talked to one of my distant cousins who was gay. I figured out my real feelings and in my realization, I had an affair with one of my lesbian friends from college. When my husband found out he was very angry but also understanding about my sexuality and later came out as pan. This was a very emotional time of my life but I eventually got through it and married the woman of my dreams (college wifey). (F/56/Lesbian)
Story #2460
When I came out it was to my friend. She was openly bisexual so I felt comfortable telling her. I told her and she completely supported me. I tried to tell my other friend but I didn’t know she was homophobic. I told her and she flipped out. She didn’t want to talk to me so I realized she wasn’t a real friend. (12/Lesbian/gay)
Story #2457
When I came out everything felt weirder. I feel like everyone I told (myself included) just tried to avoid the topic. I felt like I was half in and half out of the ‘closet’. Different people in my life responded differently and knew different amounts: my mom knew but didn’t think that nonbinary people could have gender dysphoria, my dad sort of knew but thought it was ‘just a phase’ and didn’t take me very seriously, my dad’s partner was supportive, my mom’s partner didn’t know and thought that ‘there’s no possible way that there are that many transgender people. I mean, there’s always going to be one or two, but…’, and so one. I was (and still am) so scared of rejection. I came to a point where I felt that I had ‘come out’ too much to pretend it had never happened yet too far to fully come out without making it seem like I was craving attention, or doing too much. Because I never knew how to properly come out, no one knows my full identity, just that I use they/them pronouns (sort of), that I don’t dress femininely (at least most of the time), and that I wasn’t straight (even though I never clearly stated my orientation). (Nonbinary Genderflor Genderflux Trans/11/Arospec Ace-spec Abroromantic Lesbian)