When I came out I realized how misunderstood enbies are. I had to explain almost every aspect of my gender identity and sexuality to my parents and friends, and reassure them that we actually exist. There are just so few of us, apparently, that not even close to everyone knows the basics of our gender (or anti-gender) self-concepts. Stay strong, and don’t let “normal society” get to you. Just be yourself, be modest, and be kind. (Non-binary agender/15/Pansexual)
Story #2245
When I came out, everyone was super supportive. I am so lucky to be in a community of friends (in boarding school) where almost everyone is also LGBTQ+. When I came out to my friends here, they all were so happy and now we are forming a coalition to help my roommate begin questioning her sexuality, as we both come from pretty rural conservative towns and hadn’t really thought about it before. I still haven’t come out to my family at home yet, and am pretty nervous but am glad I have my friends here and at home (who I came out to over a Zoom call; they were very supportive and happy as well) to support me. I am planning to tell my brother first, as I know he will be accepting and knows more about LGBTQ+ than my parents, who are more of the accepting of their gay coworkers but very awkward around anything gay type, and I don’t really know how they will react. (F/14/Pansexual)
Story #2235
When I came out to my sister, it was right after she had come out to me as asexual and omni! We were both very loving and supporting of each other and still are! (Scared to tell my mom though. Might wait till I move out and go to college.) (Genderfluid/10/Pretty sure I’m pansexual but still questioning)
Story #2233
When I came out it was a little sudden; the first time I understood the term pan while trying to figure myself out I felt immediately like that was me. Then one day after school some of my friends were asking about whether I had a crush and somehow the conversation went from me protesting embarrassedly that “it’s complicated” to me saying “So I’m pan” as we got on the bus. My friends were gay and trans; and lesbian; so they both were really accepting. It was relieving to finally let somebody know how I felt. I’ve told my mum that “I could see myself with a girlfriend or boyfriend” (in tears) but she said she understood, but she and my dad were both pretty confident I’d “settle down and figure it out” so I don’t think she knows that pan is actually a real thing. I’ll tell her one day soon and explain it fully but right now I think I’ll let her think about it a while longer… (F/15/Pan)
Story #2232
When I came out it was “census day.” I filled out my census on my household account, not realising that when my parents logged in to do theirs, they’d be able to see all of my answers. To cut a long story short, I’m looking for a new house, and I’m going to hell too apparently. (F/18/Pansexual)
[Editor’s note: UK folks, you can go to https://census.gov.uk and click “Need to answer separately from your household?” and they’ll send you an anonymous access code so you can fill in your own information and overwrite whatever your official household form says.]
Story #2226
When I came out to my best friend it was right after he hit on me and said he liked me. I was so scared but then he told me he was bi. Now I have a beautiful trans girlfriend and my friend has a boyfriend! (F/12/Pan)
Story #2224
When I came out I was just 11. I came out to a friend and they were super supportive. I was planning to come out in June, but it came out early. It was by email and I was super worried they would be homophobic or not supportive at all, but I was wrong. Remember, you’re never alone. (F/11/Pansexual)
Story #2222
When I came out as pansexual I did it to my mom as “I’m gay but kinda not.” She says it’s OK but she’s homophobic in reality. I don’t use feminine stuff but just even a ring pisses her off. Luckily I’ve got a supportive sister and friend instead and that’s all I need! ×) (M/Pansexual)
Story #2217
When I came out, my friends were actually very accepting and supportive of me. Since last year, I knew I wasn’t 100 percent straight, but I wasn’t 100 percent gay either; labeling myself as bi didn’t feel right either. For a few months, I identified myself as ace, but deep down inside I love people regardless of their gender. I came out as pansexual to my mom yesterday, and she was fortunately very supportive of me. I’m still kind of questioning my sexuality, but right now, I identify myself as pansexual. (F/17/Pansexual)
Story #2214
When I came out it was only a couple of days ago to my bi friends. They accepted me and congratulated me. Today, I came out to one of my “homophobic-ish” friend. She said it was ok and accepted me but I don’t really know how she actually feels about it. I would really want to come out to my family but they are super religious and homophobic so I’m not really sure. (F/12/Pansexual)