Gay Coming Out Stories

When I came out it was 2007 and I was 27 years old, though I’d known I was gay since I was about 12. I came out to my best (girl) friend first… she was amazing… Next was my childhood buddy (more like a brother). He was great to me, but slightly freaked out. Then I told my mom, who I always thought would be my “champion”, and she freaked out and called my dad… and my father, the supreme jock, the masculine supreme, accepted me straight up for who I was and told me to stop worrying about being myself!!! So… don’t hold back for people you think may be “disappointed”, do you… the lovers will always love! (M/39/Gay)

When I came out as bi to my friends they were all so happy for me and showered me with support and love. Later on I realized I was actually gay. I really wanted to tell my parents but I was so scared how they would react; one day it became too much to hold in so a wrote them a note explaining to them that I was gay. The next day my parents told me they loved me and supported me no matter what. I felt so relieved after. (M/16/Gay)

When I came out it was just before Thanksgiving, and this was the last I would be at home before leaving for basic training. I knew that I needed to tell them beforehand and didn’t wanna make the holidays awkward. I told my dad first when we sat in the car while my mom shopped. He was always very open about how he felt about gay people so I was concerned, but he actually responded very calmly and positively. Later that night I told my mom and she couldn’t talk… just held her head in her hands and didn’t say anything. To be fair she has anxiety (just like me) so I probably overwhelmed her, and afterwards she came into my room and we had a long talk about how it didn’t matter and I just needed to go into the world and be happy. Overall pretty positive. (M/17/Gay)

When I came out the day before my birthday because I felt I needed to get things off my chest to grow up even more, my mom and I were sitting on my bed talking about like or whatever and all of a sudden I said, “Mom, I have something really important to tell you but don’t freak out.” She was like, “Go on,” and I started telling her, “I prefer boys over girls, I am into boys.” She immediately replied, “How do you know that? You’ve never gotten into a relationship with a girl, am I right ? So I think you should give them a try before doing anything else.” I tried to make her understand that I will never change, I was born this way and kept telling her I had never opted for this… At the end, she said, “I made you, not your heart, you’re able to love whoever you want, I will always love you.” (M/18/Gay)

When I came out, I was 12. This still makes me cringe, but it was 11PM and I was bored and was watching coming out videos. I was feeling brave and since my sister was asleep I just texted her that I was gay so she could see it in the morning. There was some awkward tension at first but we never really talk about it. (M/13/Gay)

When I came out yesterday night it was to my best friend (who I have known for 7 years). On Instagram I wrote to him telling him I was gay. I switched off the phone and went to bed, but didn’t get much sleep cause my heart was racing. When I woke up the first thing I did was see his message. I was scared thinking I would lose him, but once again I underestimated his awesomeness. He was truly supportive and I am happy to have him in my life. Thanks. (M/15/Gay)

When I came out to my father I was basically disowned. He had been using the possibility of me being gay as a vicious point scoring tirade against my mother during a drawn out and violent divorce. On the day they separated and we all moved out and away, I ended up in a heated argument with him, which lead to me saying in effect I was gay. He said I was no son of his and was siding with my mother. I hardly saw him after that as could not cope with the pain of the divorce and maybe because I felt massively rejected. I never had a chance to reconcile or further discuss the issue as he died a few years later. When I tried coming out to my mother I remembered her crying secretly and also during a conversation about my coming out to a friend while I was in the same house. I still don’t know if he fully understands or accepts I’m gay. (M/45/Gay)

When I came out it was to my mum one night. I hadn’t planned it but she asked if there was anything on my mind and I couldn’t keep it in any longer. I tried to tell her but I couldn’t say the words so I made her guess and I just nodded my head. We talked about it for 40 minutes and she said that she loved and supported me but it would take her a bit of time to be comfortable with it. My dad isn’t the next person I want to tell; hopefully that will go well too. (M/17/Gay)