When I came out to my mom I was maybe 15 or 16, and I just walked into her room one night and told her, “Mom, I have something very important to tell you. I’m never going to have kids. I’m never going to have sex, because I’m ace.” And obviously she was like, “You’re too young to know, you’ve never dated anyone before, it’s just a phase, you’ll find that special someone later in life, you don’t have to worry about it right now,” and all that. And I was just crying as I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t a phase and that I had been distressed for some time, but that I was into guys, just I couldn’t emotionally comprehend sexual attraction the way everyone else did. Like, ya it made sense logically, but other than finding people aesthetically pleasing, I just wasn’t ever *attracted* to anyone. She needed some time to think about it, but she’s pretty accepting now. My high school friends honestly knew before I did; they’d always ask me, “Oh, you’re ace, right?” even while I was questioning, so coming out to them was really easy. (F/19/Heteroromantic asexual)
Story #2259
When I came out it was to three friends when we were hanging out and chatting. The one that isn’t my closest friend started bringing up the topic of Pride month, and I casually mentioned I was questioning. They were all absolutely fine with it; in fact, they didn’t even care. I am fortunate enough to live in a very accepting family, school, and town, and although they are all straight the aforementioned one told me that a lot of people in her friend group, the “popular friend group,” weren’t straight, which made me really happy even though I had not suspected that. I haven’t come out to anyone else yet including my parents/family because I am scared of confrontation, but I am 95% positive they will be completely accepting. (She/her/13/Questioning)
Story #2255
When I came out it was multiple times. First I told a couple of close friends and people that I trusted, and they were pretty much all very accepting, which is good. Only one of my friends that I’m out to is also LGBT+ so we chat about things related to that lots. My most recent coming out was earlier today: I was thinking about coming out to my form (class) at school and I typed up a message to the group chat, but then I changed my mind and accidentally pressed send rather than delete and I basically freaked out and left. No one has send anything yet so I’ll have to see how that goes. Happy pride month! 🏳️🌈 (F/12/Lesbian)
Story #2248
When I came out it was first to two of my close friends, one of which is non-binary. They both mainly took the news well, and didn’t tell anyone like I asked them but I think one of them feels a bit uncomfortable speaking about sexuality. After that I came out to a girl in my class that I knew would be supportive, over text (like an hour ago). She was really lovely about it and told me that she’d support me. I haven’t told anyone else yet, including my parents and my best friend, because I’m not sure how my parents will react. (F/Gay)
Story #2245
When I came out, everyone was super supportive. I am so lucky to be in a community of friends (in boarding school) where almost everyone is also LGBTQ+. When I came out to my friends here, they all were so happy and now we are forming a coalition to help my roommate begin questioning her sexuality, as we both come from pretty rural conservative towns and hadn’t really thought about it before. I still haven’t come out to my family at home yet, and am pretty nervous but am glad I have my friends here and at home (who I came out to over a Zoom call; they were very supportive and happy as well) to support me. I am planning to tell my brother first, as I know he will be accepting and knows more about LGBTQ+ than my parents, who are more of the accepting of their gay coworkers but very awkward around anything gay type, and I don’t really know how they will react. (F/14/Pansexual)
Story #2243
When I came out I could barely hear the words over the sound of my heart pounding. I have always loved my queerness but after the words left my lips I hoped the world would end before anyone responded. I was so nauseous I was worried I was going to puke. My parents said they had no idea but of course they were happy to know and loved me. My friends said “Ohhhhh, that makes sense.” I’ve never received a truly homophobic response to coming out, but I can still feel all the oxygen leave the room when I think of the first time. But I survived. I made it. (F/23/Queer/bisexual)
Story #2238
When I came out to my best friend as aroace, she just shrugged and asked me a few questions to understand it better, but otherwise didn’t make it such a big deal. She’s awesome, by the way. On the other hand, when I came out to my parents, they said that it was “just a phase” and that I shouldn’t say that until I know for sure because I’ll find the right person someday, so that made me angry. Otherwise though, my coming-out experience was good. (F/14/Aro/ace)
Story #2233
When I came out it was a little sudden; the first time I understood the term pan while trying to figure myself out I felt immediately like that was me. Then one day after school some of my friends were asking about whether I had a crush and somehow the conversation went from me protesting embarrassedly that “it’s complicated” to me saying “So I’m pan” as we got on the bus. My friends were gay and trans; and lesbian; so they both were really accepting. It was relieving to finally let somebody know how I felt. I’ve told my mum that “I could see myself with a girlfriend or boyfriend” (in tears) but she said she understood, but she and my dad were both pretty confident I’d “settle down and figure it out” so I don’t think she knows that pan is actually a real thing. I’ll tell her one day soon and explain it fully but right now I think I’ll let her think about it a while longer… (F/15/Pan)
Story #2232
When I came out it was “census day.” I filled out my census on my household account, not realising that when my parents logged in to do theirs, they’d be able to see all of my answers. To cut a long story short, I’m looking for a new house, and I’m going to hell too apparently. (F/18/Pansexual)
[Editor’s note: UK folks, you can go to https://census.gov.uk and click “Need to answer separately from your household?” and they’ll send you an anonymous access code so you can fill in your own information and overwrite whatever your official household form says.]
Story #2229
When I came out I was in math class. I had gone to turn something in, so I was out of my seat, when I came back my best friend (who is bi) was saying how she sits next to two straight people. I said, “I’m offended,” and then sat down. The person sitting next to me said, “Wait, why?” I commented, “Because I’m not.” (F/13/Questioning)