When I came out I was really scared. I have homophobic parents — well, mom — and I had already come out to some of my friends. My brother was my only family member who knew and he helped me through tough times of figuring myself out. I decided to let my mom know I was pansexual and asexual because she always insulted the LGBTQIA+ and I was getting hurt a lot but nothing changed once I came out to her. Instead she said stuff like I’m gross, I’m a sin, it’s just a dumb phase, stuff like that hurt a lot. I don’t have many friends so I would try to just move on with myself and be happy with who I am even though if I really am a disappointment but it’s alright. I’m happy being me and expressing what and who I love. I mean, I can’t help it. (F/15/PanAce)
Story #2105
When I came out as aroace I first came out to my classmate/friend. I told her I thought I was aroace, but she laughed and made fun of me, saying I was way too young to know and just confused. The next day I came out to my mum that night after she asked me if I was gay, and I told her no. I told her that I just didn’t like anybody and that that would probably be forever like that. She was first off sad because she thought that I would be unhappy that way. I told her that I’m happy with friends and family and that if I would be in a relationship, it would make me unhappy. She accepted it, so I told her that I was probably aroace. She accepted that too. (Genderfluid/13/Aroace)
Story #2102
When I came out, my sister found my journal and read it, finding out about my crush and she thought I was gay. Turns out my sister is incredibly homophobic, and I found her diary. All she talked about was boys and how “ewwwww my sister is gay” and it kind of crushed me. But she knows I’m bi now… (F/13/Asexual biromantic)
Story #2101
When I came out, my friends were all really supportive (thankfully). My best friend is straight. I figured out I liked girls when my other friend came out as bi, and I had a crush on her (I still do, ack). My parents don’t know, but I came out to my other friends as asexual but didn’t get a chance to tell them I was also biromantic. The good thing about that is that they won’t nag me about who I like. (F/13/Asexual biromantic)
Story #2092
When I came out, I was in a meeting with one of my teachers. She looked at me and told me she was so proud of me and that I should never be ashamed for who I am. She gave me a bunch of resources that she had used in the past and got me connected to several community groups. She told me to call her any time and would stand by my side even if my parents didn’t support me in my decision. (F/17/Asexual/gay)
Story #2080
When I came out I was incredibly nervous. I told my cousin, who is the only person that I have been with my whole life besides my brother and parents, and she understood almost instantly. We used to always joke that I was more male than female and when we played dress up when we were younger, I would always been the husband or father. Everyone always assumed I was just a tomboy and I was just too influenced by my brother and father, but it was not until very recently that all my depression and anxiety came to a head and I had that thought, “What if I really am a boy and not just a boyish girl?” I have been hinting at being transgender ever since to my parents, brother, and younger sisters, but they all think it is just some ongoing joke I have and do not take me seriously. I talk with my cousin but neither of us have the money or resources to move out of our respective houses and start buying me the necessities I need to transition, so my hair is still long and I don’t have a binder. I am hoping to change that soon. (M [FtM]/18/Asexual)
Story #2071
When I came out, it was in maths class last year to a girl who sat next to me. She wanted me to be her “Gay Best Friend” but I think I’m quite a lame one. On top of that, I didn’t realise I was asexual until a few weeks ago. To be honest, it’s been a really horrible year, just a giant punch to the face every day, and being gay and ace makes me feel different in a bad way, and coming out seems stupid because why should someone judge you for that, why can’t you just be yourself and not say anything? And then, I feel like if I come out as ace people will think I’m lame because I don’t know who’s attractive. I just hope this year is over soon and then we can all laugh about it. (M/17/Gay/ace)
Story #2055
When I came out to my grade at school last year I sent a mass email to everyone. I got positive responses and some slightly transphobic responses but it was fine. Now almost exactly a year later I am called by my new name and a lot of people use my correct pronouns. Some people don’t but that’s okay. (FtM/15/Grey romantic asexual)
Story #2030
When I came out as aromantic my mom said that it was just a phase and that I would find “the one.” My friends are supportive, though, which is awesome. (Genderfluid/aroace)
Story #2019
When I came out to my parents for the first time, as asexual, I was 14. They’re very cishet-normative, but they’ve been trying to be very supportive. Tonight, I put a letter on their bed saying I am nonbinary. I don’t know if they’ve read it yet. Tomorrow, I’m
going to come out to my younger brother. I’m scared, but I’m also tired of pretending to be something I’m not. I hope they respond well. (Nonbinary/16/Aroace, agender)