When I came out, it was more of an accident than anything. I’d had a note in my pocket that I had written to my friend, something along the lines of “I just want you to know that I’m nonbinary, specifically agender. I’d like to be called ____ and use they/them pronouns.” I’d forgotten to give it to my friend, and it was left in my pocket for my mom to find. When she was going through the laundry, she found the paper. Being her, she read it instead of asking me what it was or giving it to me, then for some reason kept the fact she’d found it a secret for about 2 weeks. Then, one day, she called me out onto the porch and asked me about it. I confessed that yes, it was true, and that was how I felt. She refused to call me my preferred name, and used they/them pronouns for about a day before going back to she/her. That was about 3 or 4 months ago, and she still calls me she/her and my deadname. (Agender/12/Panromantic/demisexual)
Story #2176
When I came out, I was already out to most of my school friends as gay, but then I started to question my gender and figured out I was agender. The first few people I came out to were accepting, but they all made a huge deal out of it (it’s just me??? call me by my name and pronouns as you would do anyone else???), and eventually, rumours started floating around the school as they had when I had come out to these same people as gay. This made me quite anxious as I felt that everyone knew my deepest secret. Later when I came out to my class, people kept deadnaming and mispronouning me, saying, ‘Same thing’ or ‘You know what I meant’. Later by the people in my class I got bullied (still am being bullied) and called an ‘it.’ And finally, was outed to a bunch of my teachers: When they called the roll and said my deadname (though I appreciate people learning my real name, it was super annoying) people in my class yelled out (some quite mockingly :((() ‘Actually, it’s *real name.*’ And as I’m not currently out to my mum, this was quite distressing as some of the teachers are friends with and talk with my mum often. 🙁 (Agender/non-binary/13/Aromantic/pansexual/demisexual)
Story #2155
When I came out it was the other day, and 𝐈 wasn’t even the one to do it. I was laying on the ground in drama class the other day when I heard my preferred name being used in answer to one of the teacher’s questions as to who was doing which role. When the teacher asked who they were, one of my friends replied with: “Oh, that’s *deadname*’s preferred name!” I was scared when I heard this as many kids in my school were transphobic until I heard my teacher ask me which pronouns I use ! She was really supportive, though I am still mad at my friend for outing me 🙁 (Non-binary/agender/12/Pan/demi)
Story #2019
When I came out to my parents for the first time, as asexual, I was 14. They’re very cishet-normative, but they’ve been trying to be very supportive. Tonight, I put a letter on their bed saying I am nonbinary. I don’t know if they’ve read it yet. Tomorrow, I’m
going to come out to my younger brother. I’m scared, but I’m also tired of pretending to be something I’m not. I hope they respond well. (Nonbinary/16/Aroace, agender)
Story #1954
When I came out I was texting one of my friends on Messenger. And I told them I like someone. “Is he nice?” she said. “… she” I corrected her. (Agender/14/Asexual/demi-homoromantic)
Story #1943
When I came out I told my friend that I had a crush on my best friend, who was a girl. She was confused because I just got over my male crush. I explained it to her. Two days later she was shipping me with my crush so much it was kind of hilarious. (Agender/genderfluid (still figuring out)/14/Pansexual)
Story #1707
When I came out, it was sort of by mistake. My friends were talking about some movie, and my friend told me, “From one asexual to another, don’t watch that movie because there’s a huge sex scene.” I responded that I wasn’t ace, and she seemed really surprised. I couldn’t shake the encounter, though, and at lunch the next day, I looked up different types of attraction and realized that I really didn’t experience any sexual attraction, prompting me to come out to everyone right then and there. They were all so accepting, and they’ve continued to be as my label has gradually changed and evolved into how I identify today. (Agender/15/Aro Ace)
Story #1518
When I came out as agender and pansexual, only one of my friends accepted me for who I was. The rest of my “friends” just said, “Eww!” or “I know you’re lying” or they laughed and made fun of me… (Agender/11/Pansexual)