When I Came Out

When I came out for the first time to my best friend, I couldn’t even say it out loud. I ended up writing a poem trying to explain the chaos inside. I ended the poem with, “I’m bending and you’re straight.” That friend looked me in the eye and told me that she knew. “Your closet had a light on, sweetheart.”

When I came out I was drunk. At a party. Just finished making out with a horrible guy and was on my way to his car to have sex. I stopped, got into another car, cried my eyes out to the girl who was in there and told her I was gay and trying to change by having sex with that guy. I’m still not out to everyone, but that girl and I are friends now.

When I came out, I lied. I told my mother I was bi because I couldn’t bear to break it to her that I wouldn’t have the husband and kids she wants me to have. I couldn’t disappoint her more. I still haven’t told her the truth.

When I came out, I was 17 and it was to my mom. I told her I was bisexual and she told me she thought I was lesbian. Since I was a bit young when I found out (13), I thought, “If I like girls then I must be a boy” and dressed like one for a long time even though I knew I loved those heels my sister had. After learning about the whole LGBT thing and meeting more people, I realized I was bi and didn’t have to be butch at all. For the most part, I think my mom was just glad I trashed all those baggy shirts and cargo shorts.

When I came out, it was to my closest friends. They just laughed and said they all knew already, but they were glad I’d told them.

When I came out to my mom, I wrote a letter for her to read. She read it and showed it to my conservative dad too (who had already guessed I was gay and was okay with it), and said they would accept me no matter what, but they’re still somewhat touchy and avoidant about the subject ever since then. I’m just glad I don’t have to hide anymore.

When I came out, it was during my Junior year musical… last year, in fact. I made comments to people of the cast here and there when it came up in conversation. And as I’d hoped, word spread; then during a casual cast dinner at Steak ‘n’ Shake, I was asked a few questions. It came up that I’d never kissed a girl before, so the chick sitting right next to me just grabbed my head, and planted one right on my mouth. To this day I still don’t know her name.

When I came out, it was to the girl I was in love with. She told everyone I knew about it. When they started attacking me, she told them that she loved me.

When I came out, it was to my mum yesterday. I told her the reason why I was always devastated after a fight with my best friend was because I’m in love with her. She said she already knew and she’s completely okay with it, as long as I’m happy with who I’m with. I’m so relieved that everything worked out just fine!

When I came out, my mom said it was a phase. Ever since she has been mad at me for bringing up any LGBTQIA+ issues. *sigh*