When I came out to my best friend I thought I’d regret it immediately. I was terrified it would be a “not in my backyard” situation. It’s scary thinking these things will change the entire way someone sees you, more than the physical but your entire sense of self and your soul, in their eyes. I wasn’t going to tell her until after her wedding. She had made me Maid of Honour. What was I gonna be now? But the wedding is over a year away and my feelings about my gender keep getting stronger, and I just couldn’t do this to myself anymore. When I told her, she hugged me as I cried, and one of the first things she said was “we’ll pick a new title for you for the wedding if you want”, which just made me cry even harder. (Transmasc/bigender/30/Bi/pan)
Story #2707
When I came out to my family, I was scared. I gave half-truths. “Would you accept me if I dated a man? How do you feel about my transfem friend?” Only after months of subtle questions did I, at 20 years old, finally admit to them: I am a woman. (F/29/Trans Fem/Pansexual/Lesbian)
Story #2706
When I came out I was fifteen, despite knowing I was queer for a very long time. I had only identified as transmasc for a year though, and the attraction I suddenly felt for boys was new as well. So it was nerve-wracking, but I had realized I couldn’t live with the dysphoria and pain I felt daily. I wanted literally nothing more than to be seen as a boy, to have a boyfriend, to be finally happy and comfortable. I told two friends first, and it didn’t go over so well, which was discouraging. But I pushed on and I’m glad I did. It was awkward and really weird at first honestly, but over time it got better. It’s been a while, and I don’t have a boyfriend just yet, but in the words of Ethel Cain, if it’s meant to be then it will be. If you’re reading these for motivation to come out, as I did for years before I actually did, this is your sign to go for it! If you know you’re in a safe situation at least, I promise you, it’s worth it. It may be weird, it may be awkward, it may even hurt for a little. But nothing can beat the happiness of living as your true self, I promise. (Male [FtM]/16/Achillean)
Story #2699
When I came out it wasn’t all at once. I came out as bisexual at 13 and came out as a trans man to my friends at 15 and to my family at 16. Trying to discover my sexuality was intertwined with trying to discover my gender and vice versa. I was trying to suppress who I was because evangelical family members called who I am a sin. I refuse to live in shame again. (Nonbinary Trans Man/25/Bisexual)
Story #2664
When I came out, I was kicked out and they started insulting me. I came out to my parents as trans male and they were furious. My mom called me a disgrace and that she should’ve never had me. My dad shook his head and told me to pack my belongings. I was heartbroken and I moved into my best friend’s apartment. It hurt really bad when they kicked me out like I was nothing. I was fifteen when this happened; I am now nineteen. (Trans male)
Story #2658
When I came out, it started slowly. I told my wife first, then my sister-in-law who lives with us, then my kids. When I was in the process of changing everything legally, the government sent a card, I think it was about voter registration, to my former address, where my parents still lived. The card was addressed to my new name. Immediately, they began attempting to convince me to come over so they could correct me (my sperm donor is a pastor of a very conservative church), essentially offering me conversion therapy. At this point, I just made my identity completely public, resulting in a few supportive members of my extended family, but also several cut ties. (MtF/33/Lesbian/poly)
Story #2657
When I came out I was outed at school. I was very feminine even though I was assigned male at birth, so a couple of bullies searched my backpack when I was in the bathroom and found my ‘female stash’, which was full of makeup and perfume and other womanly things. Those bullies took a picture and posted it all over their stories and everyone started calling me trans, and where I’m from, when the principal hears about a closeted child, it is mandatory for them to inform parents. My parents were angry and scolded me, saying I was confused and that gender dysphoria is fake and transgenderness is a sin and stuff like that. Now, I feel uncomfortable and insecure in my family and at school. (Trans [MtF]/14)
Story #2653
When I came out as trans and bi, I was 10. My dad told me that “it’s a phase.” My mom was fairly supportive. My dad is a bit antsy about the subject and my mom supports me as best as she can; she even referred to me with my preferred pronouns, which felt amazing. I just got my binder and now I feel incredible. (Transgender FtM/14/Bisexual)
Story #2651
When I came out, my parents had always been a little passive aggressive about trans or lgbtq people in general. I came out a total of 3 times, and hundreds of signals I was trans since the age of 8. They are (probably pretending) still clueless. I pass well and I have been stealth in my school for the past 2 years. (FtM/15)
Story #2649
When I came out, I didn’t know about the LGBTQIA+ at all. I just told my parents, “I want to be a boy” and “I’m a boy”. They didn’t believe me at first, but started to realize I actually meant it when I told my friends at school in grade 2 and 3. They were a bit confused but really supportive from grade 4 and on, when I did a presentation about it in my class. My life is going pretty great, regardless of my hated middle name and nickname, and I run a Pride Club at my school. (M/12/Demiromantic/pansexual/FtM trans)