Male Coming Out Stories

When I came out to a friend for the first time, I actually got so relieved I decided to tell someone else. My “logic” was that I should tell this guy I was friends with—but he’d been a homophobe—to either accept it or get out of my life. Thankfully, he’d changed and was really accepting, what’d you know. I haven’t told my parents yet cause I don’t want to talk about sex with them, but I know they will be cool about it. (M/17/Gay)

When I came out to my mom last night with my dad it wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for. She didn’t seem to happy about it and she kept questioning why I had these “feelings.” You could say the same thing for straight people and then she got all defensive and said that my feelings weren’t normal. She said she loved me , but I didn’t feel love. I’m just going to keep doing me though. (M/15/Gay)

When I came out to my parents on National Coming Out Day, I was terrified. My parents are both pastors, so I was afraid that they would reject me and take it badly. When I finally got the courage to say the two simple words, my parents reacted far better than I expected. They completely accepted me and told me that they had thought that I may be LGBT in the past. I guess things do typically turn out okay in the end, even if it looks hopeless. (M/12/Gay)

When I came out, I was afraid. I had kept in the truth for three years, as I had read so many stories on abuse and bullying towards the lgbt group. However, when I told my parents, they were alright with it; at first they were confused, but now they are supportive. However, it was the friend issue I had trouble with. At first, I wrote, “I’m gay” on a piece of paper and showed it to a few of my close girl friends. However, one of them went round and told everyone, which was so annoying. I did lose a lot of respect from a lot of guys, but I have become ever closer with all the girls at my school. (M/17/Gay)

When I came out I lost a lot of friends. I first told my mom and she was fine but she thought it was a phase. I told my dad I was bi and he ignored it (denial). Friends stopped liking me and I’m moving out of South Africa after grade 12 for my safety. (I still have my closest friends and I’m the head of a LGBTQ+ group for South Africa’s Youth.) (M/16/Gay as a rainbow)

When I came out my parents weren’t accepting. My mom told me to hide my gayness and my dad refused to talk to me about it. Now I’m open with my school and all my friends accept me. (M/14/Gay)

When I came out I was really nervous about what the people I told would think, but they were all accepting. Three months later I am fully out at school and everyone that knows has been supportive. (M/15/Gay)

When I came out my friend thought it was a prank. To her surprise twas not a prank and still to this day people think I’m pranking them. Like can I please just have one person believe me before I have to get all the way into it… (M/13/Gay)

When I came out to my parents, my sister told all of her friends at school (which is a lot of people) of what went down. They’re all so supportive of me and love me to pieces. So when I walked into the school courtyard the next day, everyone there stood up and applauded me, cheering and clapping as I passed. I am so lucky to have such an amazing sister and community. (M/15/Gay)

When I came out to my best friend, she was very accepting. After that I got more depressed with myself. The only thing that helps to make me feel better is to tell someone new. I know that telling my parents along with the world is going to be a big ask, but it is the only thing that could free me from this constant pain. I feel powerless, but I know I am resilient. (M/15/Gay)