Male Coming Out Stories

When I came out, it was to my best friend of 15 years. Yet he still acts like nothing ever happened. That was two years ago. He is the only one I’ve ever trusted. Not even my own family. It hurts, and every day, it is a struggle. But when I read your stories in here, it gives me hope that maybe one day, things might change. Thank you for this. Stay strong. Love you guys. (M/26/Gay)

When I came out, I felt terribly sad. I had broken up with my boyfriend. I was so desperate that I needed to tell someone. So I told my closest friends, one by one, that I had fallen in love with a boy who, now, had decided to abandon me. That was the first step in a never-ending process of coming out (at work, with your family, with new friends, neighbours…). (M/45/Gay)

When I came out I was 19, and even 3 years later it’s not something I openly talk about. I was drunk and out partying with some mates. One of them said, “That’s so gay” about something, and without missing a beat I just shouted, “Same!” They just laughed and said OK cool. I kept it to myself for about three weeks and then told my family over the phone. I told my mother and her response was “Oh! OK, don’t tell your father just yet, he’s had a car accident, that’s why I phoned.” (It wasn’t serious but no one knew that at the time.) Fast forward 3 years and my family accept me and joke about it, but I lived in a country where being LGBT was a prisonable offence so I never really talk about it. (M/22/Gay)

When I came out it was to my friends at school. I had been dropping hints for weeks and they were still clueless. Then during class today, my friend asked me what gender I liked and I told him that I liked boys. He was very supportive and accepting and I couldn’t have asked for better friends! (M/11/Gay)

When I came out to my parents, my dad told me: “In the past, I have thought about how I would feel or what I would think if you turned out to be gay, but now I know for sure it doesn’t matter at all.” This was the second time I have ever seen my dad tear up. (M/25/Gay)

When I came out, it was to my older cousin. She suspected that I might be gay and told me that I had to find out what I like. I had to tell the girl who I was dating at the time. She was happy that I was being true to myself. The thing that helps me the most is that my father accepts it and loves me regardless. (M/18/Gay)

When I came out it was to my best friend at university. I’d just learnt about his relationship and decided to open up to him. He was incredibly supportive and is now helping come out to the rest of my friends and family. (M/21/Gay)

When I came out I was 13 and my only friends were church friends because I was home-schooled. Due to me being home-schooled I felt alone, I had no one to talk to about what I was going through, and I felt I couldn’t tell any of my church friends because I was scared how they would take it. I was not ready to lose the only friends I had. But one day one of my friends was telling me in private that she had feelings for another girl. Then suddenly I jumped out of my seat, turned to her, and said, “Thank God you said that because I’m gay.” (M/15/Gay)

When I came out it was because my friends all saw a contact on my phone with a love heart emoji (my secret boyfriend). All my friends were asking who she was, and I just said to one of my closest friends, “It’s a guy,” and she was so supportive and we talked and she’s helping me come out to everyone else. Thanks so much x (M/17/Gay)

When I came out, I told my mom in the night that I’m gay. She was very supportive and told me that she will always love me. I didn’t come out to my dad because I think that he doesn’t understand. (M/15/Gay)