Male Coming Out Stories

When I came out, I was talking to my friend. I had already come out to myself, and she is one of the only people who is not religious where I live and that is why I could not/cannot come out to my family or other friends. We were in private, and I decided I would finally come out. I got really shaky, and I almost cried a bit, and I said, “You know how I flirt with girls? Well, that is fake.” (I pretended to have huge crushes on girls so that no one would suspect anything. I was also really bad at flirting because I had no actual attraction to them.) She whispered, “So, are you gay?” and I nodded and she said, “Oh my gosh, that is totally OK, that makes so much sense.” That is when the tears really started and I am so grateful for her. She is still really supportive and hasn’t told anyone. I feel so much better. Still haven’t come out to anyone else, because again, everyone is super religious. (M/14/Gay)

When I came out I was twelve and had just gone to high school, which was the first place I ever thought about the word “gay,” as it was frequently used as a joke and insult. My best friend was chill though, and it gave me the courage to come out to my family. If people see this, know that it’s scary but if the people in your life are worth it then they will accept you for who you are lol. (M/15/Gay?)

When I came out in the spring of 1970, it was nine months after the Stonewall rebellion. Once I owned my identity as a gay man, I made sure everyone knew. I started the New Haven Gay Liberation Front, moved to NYC to work in the original Gay Liberation Front and live in a pioneering gay men’s collective, and ensure that others would not have to suffer in the closet as I did. Close to 55 years later, I’m actively working in the WA State LGBTQ Commission to safeguard our rights. Being gay is a blessing. (M/79/Gay)

When I came out, it was completely accidental. I was watching a movie with my aunt, who was my legal guardian, when the movie said the three words that started it all: “I ain’t gay.” My aunt chuckled before seeing me tense up before asking me if I was gay. That was when my mouth acted before my brain did and blurted out: “I am.” Ever since then, me and my aunt have grown closer and, lo and behold, my aunt is in a secret relationship with her manager, who happens to be a woman. (M/16/Gay)

When I came out life became easier. I wrote my parents a letter and they were very supportive and accepting. They just said they love me for who I am . Even though it won’t be easy to come out to my extended family, at least my parents are with me. (M/13/Gay)

When I came out at 16 in 2016, I had already known for over a decade that I was only sexually attracted to other men, ever since I was 5. Growing up in a Christian family made it incredibly tough, and I worried about how they would react. But through adversity, I learned the importance of self-love and acceptance. To others going through similar challenges with religious family members, know that you are not alone, and as time passes, it will become easier. Embracing who I truly am has given me the strength to keep going, and I now know that I can make it through, no matter the challenges ahead. (M/24/Gay)