When I came out, my friends accepted me and actually used my real pronouns/corrected themselves midway! My family doesn’t know yet, and it hurts a little every time they misgender me, use she/her pronouns, etc., but I know I’ll get through it! To people who are going through similar experiences — hang on there! One day you’ll find the people who will accept you for who you are. (Agender/AroAce)
Story #2426
When I came out, it was a roller-coaster year and a half, because my identity changed several times, first Pansexual and Nonbinary, then Bigender and Pansexual, then Bigender and Panromantic-Asexual. However, not just my gender and sexuality was a roller-coaster; my pronouns were too. I went from They/Them to He/They, then back to They/Them. Luckily my name journey was easy, I just chose a neutral version of my birth name. Anyways, to all of you out there questioning yourselves, the process is a journey, but it is worth it in the end. (Bigender/19/Panromantic-Asexual)
Story #2420
When I came out, I told my mom first. We were in the car, and I had known for about a month. It just sort of burst out of me, and while she was semi-supportive, she did do the whole “You’re still young” talk. Later that night, she told me that she had read some articles and done research to fully understand what asexuality meant. She said she was sorry if she had come off as unsupportive. I told my through an email with links to articles about asexuality. I went to my first pride parade (TacomaPride) and am now out to my grandparents, friends, and school. I even had a boyfriend for a little while and he was perfectly ok with my being asexual (we broke up because he came out as gay) . I love myself, and have found a few other asexual people in my school, and a lot of other LGBTQIA+ people. (F/15/Asexual)
Story #2419
When I came out it was to my older sister. I told her I liked this girl (I’m a girl) and she took my hand and told me she loved me and everything was still the same. I asked her if she was surprised and she responded saying it wouldn’t be fair to be surprised. After the conversation ended, I felt so vulnerable and immediately regretted telling her, but now 8 months later I’ve told two more of my friends and hope to continue to come out slowly to everyone important in my life. Every time it’s painful, but I know it’s important to keep doing it so I learn to accept and love myself as much as the people around me do. (F/16/Panromantic asexual cisfemale)
Story #2416
When I came out at 13, it was to my large friend group. With a few kids being LGBTQIA, I knew they would likely accept me. They were super proud and happy, and my coming out helped one friend identify as demiromantic demisexual. I tried to come out to my parents, but they didn’t listen/told me not to label myself/said I was ‘too young to know’. I talked with my religious mom, and was explaining the difference between being single, and being asexual, when I randomly asked the question “Is it ok if I identify as aroace for now?” It took some work, but I think she’s ok with it! I’m really excited, because I was having to hide my identity, but I am now out of the closet, and so much happier for it. (Librafeminine (she/her)/Under 18/AroAce)
Story #2414
When I came out to my sister and my parents last year, I was 40 years old. It was a very long time coming working out my sexuality, having previously felt very confused and like I was broken since I was a teenager. I grew up during Section 28 in the UK when sexuality was a banned topic in schools, not to mention that asexuality was just not even ‘a thing’; even when I did first hear the term I didn’t think it applied to me as I had no idea of the whole asexuality spectrum. It feels great to finally understand myself and to not feel so alone. I’m still a mixture of jumbled up emotions and feel ‘exposed’ as if I’ve released a deeply held secret to the world and I’m going to be caught out somehow but I have lots of hope that these will subside and happiness at being my authentic true self to my friends and family will take over. (F/40/Panromantic asexual)
Story #2411
When I came out, my dad did most of the work for me. Music was playing and my dad brought up that I had something in common with a famous artist. I asked what he meant and he said that we were both pan. I’m really glad because I don’t have enough confidence to do it myself. (Girlflux?/11/Ace/pan)
Story #2408
When I came out I was 10/11 and my friends were very supportive because most of them were allies/part of lgbtq. I was always kind of jealous of my brother but I never knew why. When I was 9 I came out to my parents as lesbian. I kept switching through genders and
sexualities and my friends/parents were tired of it. That’s when I started becoming depressed. When I started middle school I was still lesbian and going by they/she/he. I felt confident, until I started questioning my gender when I met this person, Mason. He was ftm and really made a mark on me. Eventually I cut my hair and felt so much better about my gender after I got my binder and I’m happily a boy now! (FtM/11/Aroace/questioning)
Story #2402
When I was very young I had a queer supporting friend group, so I got to experiment with my sexual identity when I was young. I have always thought I felt different from most people when it comes to sexual attraction. What amazed me was that I have been able to notice how I felt when since I was so young. I didn’t do a big coming out; I told my friends, and if people ask I let them. I even got around to mention it to my parents that I’m ace. I haven’t run into any trouble yet, but every day my sexuality gets even more confirmed. And for anyone reading, you’re never too young to know what you want. Never let anyone take away your power to be you. (F/15/Asexual)
Story #2392
When I came out, I came out to my old friend who had moved away over text, when I was eleven. I came out to her only as ace not les but I want to. I still have not come out to my parents even though that was many years ago. I also might come out to some of my other friends on national coming out day, which is not too far away. (F/Ace/lesbian)