When I Came Out

When I came out my best friend and I were both exhausted, in our sleeping bags, on her living room floor. I told her I had started dating a girl, and I was a lesbian. She rolled over, hugged me, and said, “I want to hear all about her in the morning.”

When I came out, I’d just lost my partner to AIDS. My family was sorry/disappointed they never got to meet Jim. I got my family back when I lost him. Wish I could have had both.

When I came out to my high school best friend, he said: “I knew it all the time. I thought, it’s gonna take forever. I respect you for who you are no matter what.”

When I came out, my family fell silent and went into complete shock. My mom didn’t believe me and still doesn’t. My dad told me to get counseling. But a few weeks later we talk like normal. And they still love me, we just don’t talk about it anymore.

When I came out to my mom she didn’t speak to me for about 9 months, but very slowly she’s started coming around to being ok. That was 6 years ago. I’m getting married to my girlfriend in Iowa on the 29th, and there is never a day that gets happier than when I hear my mom talk about her soon-to-be daughter-in-law.

When I came out to my best friend, he said, “Well, about god damn time.” He knew long before me.

When I came out to my mom she asked me if I was really gay, or if it was the spirit of a gay man who had “invaded” my body (?). Then she read a bunch of books on gay kids and parenting and it was awesome.

When I came out to my father in 1998, he repeated “well, it is the 90s” about a half a dozen times. After about the 6th time of repeating the phrase, I said, “Dad, you know it’s the 1990s, not the Gay 1890s…” He smiled and we both laughed.

When I came out to my godmother/aunt she said, “God doesn’t approve but I still love you.” I understand that she’s trying to cope with it, being from a different culture. On Thanksgiving she said she was proud of who I am.

When I came out I told everyone they could call me fag or queer because it was the truth. Jock asked if he could call me a**-jockey and I told him he could call me AJ for short. Never caught hell for it in a 2,000+ population school.