When I Came Out

When I came out at 27 I didn’t want my closest friends to hear it secondhand. So I scheduled a series of individual meetings over drinks at a local Chinese restaurant. By the 4th or 5th meeting the Chinese cocktail waitress approached our table and said to my friend, “He gay. No crying. What you want to drink?” We’re still laughing about it 20 years later.

When I came out, Mom cried and Dad told me it was a “lie from satan.” The depression nearly drove me to suicide; the guy I fell in love with saved me. The relationship didn’t last but the hope and relief of knowing I didn’t have to be alone will stay with me forever.

When I came out, it was initially to my Nanna. She lent forward and said slowly, as if speaking to a child: “I’m not stuuuupid!”

When I came out I didn’t want to have to repeat the process over and over (I have a huge family, and lots of friends, none of whom I was out to). So I made a flyer and mailed a copy to everyone and then put one up on the bulletin board at work. I outed myself to everyone and got it over in about three days. The response was a bit mixed but mostly positive!

When I came out, the first thing my dad said to me was: “Make sure you date a guy your own height. That way, you get to double the size of your wardrobe.” To this day, it remains some of the most intelligent and practical fatherly advice I’ve ever been given.

When I came out, my dad told me he loved me for the first time.

When I came out, I was at a friend’s party. As I left, I was on the verge of blacking out, and dragged my female friend to sit down on the ground with me where I promptly blurted that “I’m gay.” Then I blacked out. Most memorable blackout ever.

When I came out, my mom bought paper plates, cups, bowls, and utensils for me to use because she didn’t want anyone else in the family to catch AIDS. My brother and sister stood up for me and eventually educated her. Now she’s more accepting of everyone’s differences.

When I came out to my two closest female friends, they didn’t believe me. We spent the rest of the evening looking at the huge amount of gay porn on my hard drive. After that, they believed.

When I came out to my friends as trans, I did it in rhyming verse. When else are you going to get THAT chance? They said it was the best coming out letter they ever read.