When I Came Out

When I came out, my dad told me he loved me for the first time.

When I came out, I was at a friend’s party. As I left, I was on the verge of blacking out, and dragged my female friend to sit down on the ground with me where I promptly blurted that “I’m gay.” Then I blacked out. Most memorable blackout ever.

When I came out, my mom bought paper plates, cups, bowls, and utensils for me to use because she didn’t want anyone else in the family to catch AIDS. My brother and sister stood up for me and eventually educated her. Now she’s more accepting of everyone’s differences.

When I came out to my two closest female friends, they didn’t believe me. We spent the rest of the evening looking at the huge amount of gay porn on my hard drive. After that, they believed.

When I came out to my friends as trans, I did it in rhyming verse. When else are you going to get THAT chance? They said it was the best coming out letter they ever read.

When I came out, my west Texas-born redneck trucker stepfather asked if it was a recent thing, or a for a while thing. When I told him it had been for a while, he said, “Alright then.” And he never treated me with anything less than total love. My liberal soccer-mom mother went totally ballistic and we couldn’t talk for a year without screaming at each other. Things turned out just fine.

When I came out, it was to my older brother, after a very personal conversation. He talked about his own issues, then I came out to him. He took it well, no drama, no big display of emotions; just two close brothers confiding to one another. A year later, he hung himself, taking both his life and my secret with him. And I still have to come out.

When I came out, my family was just about to head to Wal-Mart. After a tear-filled conversation, we left for the store and proceeded to shop with the reddest, puffiest eyes imaginable. It was all worth it, as 5 years later nothing makes me happier than seeing my parents hug my boyfriend.

When I came out to my squadron after the DADT repeal, everyone shook my hand and told me how brave I was. I didn’t feel brave; I felt proud about how far the Air Force and the military came that day.

When I came out, I was 21, scared out of my mind someone would “find out.” It was my mother who said, “We know you’re gay, we know your ‘roommate’ is your boyfriend, and we want you to know we love you.” That was 29 years ago. I’m still grateful I have such loving parents.