When I Came Out

When I came out at 16 my mom said, “That’s wonderful!” but added that I needed to be more careful about leaving porn all over the family computer.

When I came out my Father said, “You can be gay or part of the family, but not both.” Thirty years later, he still does not accept me, but most other members, my Mother especially, accept and love my partner and me. That is good enough for me. Too bad for him!

When I came out my entire family joined PFLAG. Now they spend a week every year convincing me to go to Pride with them even though I don’t like crowds.

When I came out there was just L, G and B. Today we have LGBTQ. I hope before I die we finish the alphabet.

When I came out, my father was furious and told me never to “bring gay people around here.” Now, he calls my wife his “darling daughter.”

When I came out my uncle said, “Oh, is that all? I thought you were going to ask to borrow money.”

When I came out as bisexual my Dad asked me how bisexual I was, on a scale from “bi-curious” to “Jack Harkness.” My Mum tried to tell me about her experiments with girls in high school. Geek references and TMI are a pretty good coming out experience, in my opinion.

When I came out, my mom said, “You love who you love. All that matters is that you’re happy.” That day — although I knew she’d always love me no matter what — was the first time I really felt it. Thanks, Mom.

When I came out, I discovered my friends were my second family and my mum’s love had conditions. 10 years later, she still denies the fact that I’m gay and berates me for it. I’m grateful to my friends and siblings for helping to keep me sane.

When I came out my mom already knew. “Hon, when you ran around in my heels with your blanket wrapped around you as a dress and wearing my rings saying you were a fairy princess there to help people, I wasn’t surprised. I knew you were special and wonderful before then.”