When I Came Out

When I came out, my family was just about to head to Wal-Mart. After a tear-filled conversation, we left for the store and proceeded to shop with the reddest, puffiest eyes imaginable. It was all worth it, as 5 years later nothing makes me happier than seeing my parents hug my boyfriend.

When I came out to my squadron after the DADT repeal, everyone shook my hand and told me how brave I was. I didn’t feel brave; I felt proud about how far the Air Force and the military came that day.

When I came out, I was 21, scared out of my mind someone would “find out.” It was my mother who said, “We know you’re gay, we know your ‘roommate’ is your boyfriend, and we want you to know we love you.” That was 29 years ago. I’m still grateful I have such loving parents.

When I came out, my mother told me she accepted me and wanted to be a good parent to a gay son. Three days later, she took it back. She made it clear that she would never support me. She died eleven months later of lung cancer.

When I came out, my dad told me he’d never been more proud of me. It was hard, but it improved my relationship with my parents 500%. My sister came out a few years later.

When I came out, I told my wife that I had fallen in love with a man, and she said that she and I would have to get divorced, not because she was angry but because I deserved to be able to marry someone that I could fully love. I used to feel awkward, coming out as having married a woman, but wife and I are closer than ever, co-parenting two children, and often talk about the men we’re dating.

When I came out I took the opportunity to also come out as an atheist. My religious parents are finally fine with the gay part… still working on the god part.

When I came out, my father told me I was disowned. I told him to get over it. He did.

When I came out, my best friend thought I was lying! She said, “That’s not funny, some people are gay and you shouldn’t make fun of them.” I responded, “I’m serious!” …and it took a half hour of convincing before she believed me!

When I came out as a transman it was after Mom had tried to send me home with things I had decried as “too girly for me.” When she sarcastically asked when I was going to have gender reassignment surgery she didn’t expect my response to be, “Well, actually…” but she rolled with it. My father’s response was to exclaim that we were definitely not a boring family. My brother told me he was okay with it as long as I didn’t get a penis that was bigger than his.