When I Came Out

When I came out to my long time (30+ years) friends, I remembered to thank them for walking with me through that period and offering their steadfast, silent, and loving support without judgement all those years. We no longer had to dance around the elephant in the room! And we dance joyfully!

When I came out, I couldn’t believe how mean the gay “community” was. If you didn’t look a certain way, if you didn’t wear the right clothes, listen to the right music, worship female celebrities, you were dirt. It hasn’t really changed since 1985, either.

When I came out to my rather WASPy mother, she said, “You do not say such things to me.” And for three years, I did not do so again. Now, she welcomes my husband to family holidays.

When I came out my grandmother was relieved that I didn’t spend my whole life in the closet.

When I came out, my mom said “Who told you that?” My sister said, “We were wondering when you were gonna tell us.” My other sister said in her best Jewish accent, “Come on up to Atlanta, we’ll have a coming out party for ya!”

When I came out to my mom she said that she understood because she had a long-term relationship with a woman before I was born. “You can’t help love who you love.”

When I came out, at Christmas Dinner, my father just said, “It’s about damn time you told us.” I asked, “Is that it? ‘Cause I’d worked myself up for something a little, well… ‘more’…” Mom replied, quoting from the TV Show “Soap”, “Would this have worked better for you, Mike? — OH MY GOD, BUD, OUR SON’S A HOMO!” “No,” I said, “please pass the wine…” I love my family!

When I came out, my mother said, “Well, you’re in that phase where you’re figuring it all out. Don’t do anything you’ll regret”… which was WAY more support than I ever suspected.

When I came out to my friend as a bisexual, he said, “Wait, so you’re attracted to girls too? That’s really sexy!” We then proceeded to drool over Emma Watson together. Best. Night. Ever.

When I came out, my mother said, “You can never tell your father. I think he might kill himself and it will be your fault.”