When I Came Out

When I came out to my parents, it was right after my marriage ended and I was sitting in a car 4,000 miles away, crying like a baby. As a 38-year-old man, I felt like a kid telling my parents the worst news ever… now they’d reject me for sure. My mom cried but quickly explained that she cried about the fact that she’d failed as a mom in not having recognized the obvious pain as I suffered in silence and how she didn’t see it. My dad (who is a macho Italian-American) said, a little perplexed, “Son, why are you crying? You are my son, and I love you unconditionally.”

When I came out I didn’t know I was coming out. I explained to my aunt what I was feeling and she told me not to tell anyone else. I thought I was the only person like me for years. Now I’m happily married to a wonderful woman for 3 years, together for over 8, and glad that I got the courage to tell everyone who I am.

When I came out to my parents, halfway through lunch on Boxing Day 1991, I told them about “someone special” that I had met, and with whom I planned to spend the rest of my life. My mother cried, my father was stoic — and despite their fears and generational prejudices, they tried to be supportive. Today, my husband and I are 20 years into our lifetime together, and my parents could not be more loving, supportive, and proud of each of us. I am so very lucky.

When I came out to my mom we didn’t talk for 2 and half months after that. I moved in with my Dad and step-mom, who were 100% okay with my sexuality. A year and half later my mom and I have still never brought it up… I wish I could just talk to her and tell her that I have found and lost love with a beautiful, amazing woman.

When I came out to my uber-religious parents they were in complete shock and denial, the conversation ending with: “If that’s the way you are, then fine, but you’ll have to be single for the rest of your life,” that they would cut off any financial assistance to me until I recanted my “lifestyle,” and none of my “friends” were welcome in their home when I visited. Two days later they called and said, “We want you to know we love you, we always have and we always will. You’re not alone.” It will take time, but I know we’ll get through this. Love conquers all.

When I came out, my mom said she always knew I was gay since I was a tomboy to the max growing up. She never once turned her back on me; she loves me for who I am. Since the day I came out I never looked back, and now seven years later, I’m so happy and in love with my fiancée.

When I came out, my parents found out my “friend” who was visiting from out of town was sleeping in the same bed as myself. My dad texted me later that day saying, “I hope he understands the rule, we don’t care who you bring home, but they sleep in the guest room until we get to know them.” That was all that needed to be said.

When I came out today, my mom screamed at me, told my dad, and he told me that every family has a freak. They both hate me at the moment. It’s impossible to be Haitian and a bisexual girl at 15 🙁

When I came out to one of my best friends, I asked him to sit in my room and read a notepad document (which had a letter for him) on my desktop. I stood silently outside the door. He came and the words he said, I will remember my whole life: “It doesn’t matter, once you are my friend it isn’t easy to get off.” And he still reminds me of those words when I need assurances.

When I came out at the age of 26, my parents could not have been more supportive. … My one piece of advice to those who are scared to come out: People that have made fun of those that are gay may turn out to be the biggest supporters. Something changes when it hits close to home. I grew up in a house where my dad regularly made fun of what he would call “fags” (hate that word!) and since my coming out, has been a totally different person. He wants a HRC ring and tells all his friends how proud he is of his lesbian daughter.