When I Came Out

When I came out I was 16 on the last day of school (my parents are teachers) and I had been debating for so long how and when to tell them. I felt like I just had to get that weight off me and the adrenaline of the last day of school was with me, so I texted them on my way to my friend’s house. It said, “With [my friend] and going to her house, I’m gay, not a big deal just more info about me.” I didn’t see them until later that evening and it was weird; they weren’t accepting, but they weren’t mad, just caught by a huge surprise and in shock. I don’t regret texting even though it’s kind of bad, but I never would have been able to do it any other way, I think (I may have changed the timing).

When I came out it was to a group of my four closest friends at a party. We were playing truth or dare and they asked me who I liked. I told them I was a lesbian and that I liked a certain girl. They were all really supportive; one of them even wanted to throw me a coming out party. I was 13 at the time; now I’m 15 and I’ve told my older brother. I’ve yet to tell my parents; I’m still trying to work up the courage.

When I came out as bi, I told my best friend… who is also the girl I have a crush on. She was really supportive, even when I told her I liked her. She was shocked, but only because “I didn’t think anyone could ever find me attractive, no matter what gender.” Then she apologized for not being able to return the feelings.

When I came out I was somewhat accepted by the school. I was thrown out of my house, and lost a few babysitting jobs. My friends accepted me for who I was; a lot of them laughed because they saw the “signs” and knew long before. My coming out story is long and crazy but all in all it was good no matter how many bad things happened. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’ve been out for a year now.

When I came out I knew I would still be loved. It was more about accepting myself than having others accept me. Now, in the span of almost 6 months, I have come to terms, told my old friends, my immediate family, and even my new friends. It will be scary to be open to everybody, but I know I can do it. I am not the only one, and I most certainly won’t be the last. Stay strong. You can do it.

When I came out, I was deathly afraid of being rejected. My best friend had come out to me like three weeks past, and I was struggling with the idea myself. In the end, I grew to be open with my friends… and have found that my family is not as supportive, but as I was once told: “Love is love. Family is family… but the ones that love us are our family.” It’ll all come to pass someday… just have to wait for it.

When I came out to my friend last night we were both drunk. His first reaction wasn’t to assume that I liked him. He asked if I thought he was attractive and I told him yes and he said he was sorry he wasn’t gay or bi but that he appreciated the compliment.

When I came out as asexual to my cousin, he asked what it meant, listened carefully, and said that since he couldn’t imagine not being straight, I couldn’t be asexual. When I came out to my best friend, she told me asexuality wasn’t evolutionarily advantageous. When I came out to my brother, he just worried that I might take longer to find a relationship and feel lonely in the meantime. When I came out to my mother, she said that explained why she hadn’t been able tell if I was gay or not. I still talk to two of the four.

Really, it’s all been pretty anticlimactic.

When I came out I was 18 and I told a close friend and she said that just as long as I’m happy then who cares. I also told an uncle I was close to but that one did not go well; he disowned me and we still don’t talk and that was 15 years ago, but I still go by what I was told: “as long as I’m happy then to be what I am” then the others that don’t like it can just lump it.

When I came out as lesbian I was having a hard time accepting myself. I told a good friend in an email that I figured out I was homosexual and she was really supportive. There have been highs and lows ever since, some friendships strengthened, others fell into pieces. “If your friends don’t accept you, they are not your friends.” – I have read this a dozen times before it actually happened to me, and I was terrified of losing friends, but now it is ok. They really weren’t my friends.