When I Came Out

When I came out as bi to my parents tonight they did not take it as calmly as I expected. They had lots of awkward questions that showed clearly that their line of thinking was not going where I had hoped. I’m second guessing my decision, but I knew I wanted to do it for myself and every other bisexual person out there who feels the need to hide. I was glad to have my supportive husband, big sister, and brother-in-law there with me. Maybe next Christmas I’ll have the courage to tell them about our girlfriend.

When I came out to my best friend over the phone 3 years ago, I was crying in a heap on my basement floor. I was convinced that somehow by saying it out loud, someone else would hear and I would get kicked out of my Catholic high school or worse, out of my house. To my surprise, she laughed and said, “Come on, that’s no big deal! I still love you and you’re still my best friend.”

When I came out, it wasn’t exactly a coming out. I drunk texted my friend that he’s really cool and asked him if he thought I was gay. He saw the message and did not reply to it. We saw each other at school and he asked me if I had a blast over the weekend. Later that night he messaged me randomly that IF I am gay, then he’s totally fine with it. Felt good.

When I came out to my cousin on New Years (we’re the same age) she said she was totally cool with it and had always suspected it because I’d never really showed interest in guys I had dated. She asked me all the regular questions and told me she still loved me. So if anyone is thinking of coming out, do it. It’s such a good feeling!

When I came out to my best friend, before I told her I was hesitating so I wanted to change the subject so it would be easier to tell her. So I began with “Did you know that Tom Daley is dating a guy?” And she said, “I know, are you gay?” I said, surprised, “Yep” and she said, “That’s fine with me, but you know I’m straight, right?” I said sarcastically, “No, really?”

When I came out, it was after my best friend came out to me. We have everything in common, even our sexuality!

When I came out to my brother today as bisexual he was so supportive. It felt so good to tell somebody what I was feeling. I’m just trying to figure out the best way to tell others now. It’s hard to tell how people will react to this. I can only hope it will be as good of an experience as it was today.

When I came out to my friends as bigender, I expected to be laughed at because it was so weird and not really relevant to other people. Instead, I got hugs, support, and even congratulations. Turns out one of my friends is bigender, too…

When I came out, I told my best friend. She looked at me with wide eyes, then hugged me and said whatever. She asked questions like “how did you know?” In the end, its OK.! I’m bi, by the way.

When I came out to my parents they acted weird and got mad and incoherent but then it was like they erased it from their memories. I had to come out to them many times over that decade; it’s like they couldn’t believe it. When they realized that this wasn’t going away, they went to therapy and since then it’s been a little better for a few years now.