When I Came Out

When I came out it was kind of by accident. I was at work and was asked by a coworker, who is a lesbian, if I wanted a soda. I said, “No, thanks. I’m straight” (as in I don’t need one) and she said, “No, you aren’t. It’s pretty obvious you’re a bisexual guy”. I decided to admit it.

When I came out, I was 16 (I’m 29 now). It didn’t go well — my mom cried and my dad wouldn’t speak to me for two days, then declared it a phase. It’s better now, though we mostly don’t mention it. I’m out to pretty much everyone outside my family, though.

When I came out to my best friend as gay, she eventually coaxed me into telling my father. Easily the hardest person to come out to was myself, as it was (and still is) very challenging for me to accept who I am. However, I don’t regret being gay.

When I came out to my mum I was being yelled at, so she didn’t take me seriously. I had to tell her again later the next day and she told me I was confused, everyone finds girls attractive to a lesser degree. I just said, “Mum, that’s kind of bi.”

When I came out it was to my (Mormon) dad as gay just a couple days ago. He was really understanding after the first few minutes of shock but it still hurt a little that the first questions he asked was if I had kissed a guy and if I had ever been molested. I am 16 and also Mormon so we have a few things to work out about my life. We have only talked about it a little since then and I think he is sad and still coming to terms about it, but he made sure to tell me that he still loved me as much as ever and this changed nothing between us. He is the only person I have told and I feel sad and don’t know if I can live a meaningful life what with the whole I-can-never-be-with-someone thing. On top of that I still don’t know if the gospel is true and am divided between wanting to be true to myself and not wanting to go to hell, although I would never tell that to him.

When I came out, I was in 9th grade. I ended up telling my friend. Turns out he is bisexual and 3 years later, we’re dating. I’m just glad we were able to run into each other in our lives.

When I came out, I was in 8th grade. There was a guy I had a crush on and I found out he was bisexual. We were talking one day and I told him flat out I was gay. And now, 18 years old and seniors in high school, we are living together and couldn’t be happier with each other.

When I came out for the first time, it was on April Fool’s Day to my best friend. I sent her a snapchat that said, “I have something to tell you… but I don’t know if I can because I don’t want you to think it’s an April Fool’s joke so maybe I’ll tell you tomorrow…” She sent one back, saying, “No! You already brought it up, tell me!” and I replied, “I like girls. A lot.” She didn’t reply for about 10 minutes so I was a bit worried but she finally replied, “I know. I still love you!” and it was just awesome to know that she was still there for me and still loved me the same.

When I came out, my dad hugged me, and it has been a long time since he did that. My mom was still in the state of shock, but both of them tolerated me. But they both said that this is just a “phase” I’m going through, although I know deep in my heart that I’m really gay, I just didn’t voice that out of respect for them. What I was inculcating in mind the whole time was that at least they now know and that they want me to be happy for who I am.

When I came out I was actually forced out. Mom found rather intimate letters I wrote to my college girlfriend and came to me about it one random night. I cried because I felt violated and attacked but 6 years later she’s the most accepting person in my entire family.