When I came out to my dad he told me he was sad, because “lesbians are alcoholics more often.” I found this ironic coming from an alcoholic from a family of alcoholics. He’s become supportive since then, and I’ve added my own Gay Family to my biological one, for times when I want to be with (not-alcoholic) people who accept and understand.

February 7th, 2012  

When I came out, my mom was confused because she thought I’d already done so, in a hypothetical conversation TWO YEARS EARLIER when a classmate had come out and been rejected by his parents. Now she is helping me and my partner pick out our wedding dresses.

February 7th, 2012  

When I came out to my mom it was only because I’d just been released from the hospital and I was high on painkillers. She held my hand as she drove me home.

February 7th, 2012  

When I came out, my ex-wife couldn’t stop laughing.

February 7th, 2012  

When I came out to my parents at 17, my mother said, “Oh, we’ve always known that.”

February 7th, 2012  

When I came out at the age of 36, I would regularly catch myself giggling at how silly it had been that I hadn’t done it sooner.

February 7th, 2012  

When I came out in the ’80s, I thought I would finally have some place to belong. Turns out I wasn’t the right kind of gay, either. I’m still alone, without a tribe.

February 7th, 2012  

When I came out, I felt a very heavy load lifted off my shoulders. Years of depression and self-hate went away. I abandoned 37 years at a church that couldn’t accept me and went to one that does.

February 7th, 2012  

When I came out, my wife took the children to her parents’. We stayed married two more years, which was a big mistake. It took me 20 years to make amends for that.

February 7th, 2012  

When I came out in in 1985 my parents dragged me out of the Lesbian & Gay Centre in Manchester and screamed abuse at me on Canal Street. They joined a support group for parents of queer Jewish youth and got over it. In 2006 they came to my civil partnership ceremony. Spare Rib magazine and Channel 4 was the only oases in heteroculture in 1985. Without those and the support offered at the Manchester gay youth group I definitely would have topped myself.

February 7th, 2012