Female Coming Out Stories

When I came out, I was 14, just a few weeks ago. I had already come out to a few close friends, who were fine with it, but I struggled with the idea of coming out to everyone else; I have an aunt and uncle who are homophobic, who were living with us at the time, and my best friend, from age 6, is extremely Catholic and has very one-sided views about LGBT people. I finally worked up my courage after about a year of being sure of my sexuality. It was painful to get the words out of my mouth; it felt like a dream, like someone else was saying the words. My parents were indifferent; they have not acknowledged the fact at all. My best friend has not spoken to me since, and neither have my aunt and uncle. (F/15/Lesbian)

When I came out, I was 16 in Year 12, but I had known since 13, and I told my friend I had a crush on someone. I was digging myself a hole because I had never talked about my crushes, so I dragged it out and was like, “Oh, I’m never gonna tell you.” Then I kept thinking about it in lessons. Then I ended up texting her on the bus when she was sitting right next to me ’cause I was too scared to tell her out loud. Then we talked about it and ate McDonald’s after. But it was the biggest weight off my chest. It’s going to be a long time before I come out to my family though. (F/17/Lesbian)

When I came out, my dad accepted me and he told me that he would love me no matter what. My mom is homophobic so I hadn’t told her yet. Three months later, my friend’s mom called my mom and outed me. My mom passed it off as a phase at first but when she learned that I had a girlfriend, she forced us to break up and now she pretends the whole thing never happened. She still plans my future with all the wrong pronouns. (F/13/Lesbian)

When I came out to my sister it was a little weird situation, because my sister made a joke about a girl from our soccer club, who is also a good friend of hers, and our coach. She said, “On this picture it looks as if they were a couple, but for real nobody knows if she falls for boys or girls, or do you know?” That was the moment where I first didn’t know what to say, because I did know it — after all, she’s been my girlfriend for over 3 months.  At first I wanted to lie to her but then I just told her, “As far as I know and hope she is a lesbian and I am also very sure about that, ’cause we are a couple already for over 3 months.” After that she was shocked at first, but not in a negative way and after a few seconds she came over and hugged me and told me that she was happy for me and also her. (F/20/Lesbian)