When I Came Out

When I came out, it wasn’t like I planned. My parents found a picture of me and my boyfriend kissing. They were so confused and asked themselves what they did wrong, what did they do to deserve this. Then my dad started to rough me up a little while yelling, “Why, son, why.” Since then my parents act like it never happened, that they never saw that picture.

When I came out I was 12, in 7th grade. My mother found out because of my 7-year-old sister. She wasn’t mad because she’s a lesbian too. But she said she loves me and to be careful.

When I came out, my mother and father hugged me, and told me that I could talk to them about it whenever I want.

When I came out, I was with my mom in a mental hospital after I attempted suicide. She didn’t seem surprised.

When I came out for the first time, it wasn’t a big deal anymore. There wasn’t anxiety, or grief, or a flood of any emotion at all, it just felt fine. That was perfect.

When I came out, my mother turned to my “friend” and said, “How long have you been sleeping with my son?” I brought him home and told her he was just a friend. He was the first person I had ever brought home to meet the parents!

When I came out, albeit indirectly, my mother changed the subject. We haven’t spoken of it since.

When I came out to my oldest friend she was offended I was even nervous, even though I’d been “holding out” on her for almost 30 years. She said it would take time to get used to, but that I was still me and she still loved me.

When I came out, the kids at school stopped teasing me. They seemed to only hate it when they didn’t know what I was.

When I came out to my father, it was four months after my mother passed away. I had moved out of my wife’s home over a year before and he had heard rumors we were divorcing. I told him I had met a man and that I was gay; I was crying. His first question was “Are you sure?” The next thing he said was through tears: “You’re my son, I love you, and I always will.” When he died he had learned to love both my partner and the kids he had brought into our lives.