When I Came Out

When I came out I was sitting with my class and was thinking about going to the guidance counselor to get help. My friend kept asking what was happening so I went to notes on my phone and typed, “I’m bisexual.” She just said, “So?” and went back to her phone. That’s when I got the courage to get up and go to the guidance counselor. She’s giving me resources for help and told me it’s okay.

When I came out… actually I never came out because I was never in the closet. I never hid who I am; my parents were just too self-absorbed to notice. My brother was amazing about it and said we can flirt with girls together.

When I came out to my mum and dad I was 36 and I told them both together. My dad looked up from the book he was reading and said, “So what, it doesn’t change anything. You’re still our son.”

When I came out as a lesbian to my best friend today, I didn’t expect her to react the way she did. She simply smiled and said “So?” and hugged me through my relieved tears. It proves that I shouldn’t have worried for all those years about her not accepting me. She is so amazing and supportive!

When I came out, I left class 6th period and lots of things were building up. I knew I was gay for about two years. I confided in my best friend and asked her before I came out that whatever I tell her not to treat me differently. She couldn’t have been more understanding, I said “I’m gay” and she said “and!?” but in a comforting lovely way and just said she would never judge and she loves me. I feel as if I can breathe now, and face the world.

When I came out, I went to my older sister crying and I could not get the words out. She started freaking out, “Hun. What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you pregnant?” I started to laugh… “Pregnant? I don’t even like guys.” She was beyond happy for me.

When I came out, I was terrified. I told my best friend who I knew would tell the entire school. This was a really small school in the rural Upper Peninsula of Michigan, so the news traveled fast. For a super religious area, I was accepted by most of my peers, including my super religious friends. I just wish that my Dad and Step-mom would have taken it that well.

When I came out, it was as bisexual to a friend at school. I couldn’t get the words out and she said, “Do you bat for that team?” And I said I bat for both teams. Many months later, I now have a girlfriend and think that I actually might be a lesbian.

When I came out, it was to two of my best friends who feigned tolerance and acceptance at the time but subsequently stopped being friends with me and told all of our mutual friends (even though I had explicitly asked for it to remain a secret). My ex-girlfriend found out and has been trying to reach me to question the fidelity of our past relationship. Now I’m not sure who knows and who doesn’t and am afraid that my parents will find out somehow, which would not be good.

When I came out as genderqueer a few weeks ago, I was the only one it was a shock to. My husband of ten years just hugged me and said, “Well, duh.” My best friends were so proud and honored to be a part of my coming out. The rest of the world might not approve, but I’ve been dealing with that for all 31 years of my life and am not afraid to embody my truth!