When I came out I came out in two phases: once as bisexual (which I tried really hard to be) and now as lesbian. After a sequence of multiple abusive relationships, I told my friend that my attempt with this new guy was my absolute last shot with men. Five years later we moved across the country together, lived together, and had a wonderful healthy relationship. Going to college, we agreed to have an open relationship because I knew I liked women more but didn’t know how much more until this summer — in fact, until this summer I was wondering if I was just asexual because the only qualm he’d ever had in the relationship was that I wasn’t very physically affectionate. I learned very quickly that I am indeed not ace and instead a lesbian, a fact that was really hard for me to acknowledge because of how healthy my relationship with him was but I’m happy that he is still my best friend and now has a girlfriend who can love him for all that he is. (F/21/Lesbian)