When I came out to my father I was basically disowned. He had been using the possibility of me being gay as a vicious point scoring tirade against my mother during a drawn out and violent divorce. On the day they separated and we all moved out and away, I ended up in a heated argument with him, which lead to me saying in effect I was gay. He said I was no son of his and was siding with my mother. I hardly saw him after that as could not cope with the pain of the divorce and maybe because I felt massively rejected. I never had a chance to reconcile or further discuss the issue as he died a few years later. When I tried coming out to my mother I remembered her crying secretly and also during a conversation about my coming out to a friend while I was in the same house. I still don’t know if he fully understands or accepts I’m gay. (M/45/Gay)